envoy

was what we ended up driving on our x-country trip back in june-july, with shame and self-loathing, though we eventually let go of the enigma thinking that even if things did end up working out and got a minivan, the damage (on the environment and our wallets) would have been just as bad. so the team, caitlin, alida and myself set off to an incredible journey of western frontier to relocate, visiting places and people that would stay with our hearts forever.

i had plan the trip in advance, working from the previous x-country trip i had done (to move to california with morgan in a rented u-haul), and planning to visit places that cait and alida wanted to see. the goal was 12 days, and we had to get to st. paul airport by the nineth day to send caitlin back to california.

DAY 1:
after an absolute chaos of packing up the ABF "U-Pack" container and cleaning out the apartment, caitlin and i packed the suv to the ceiling, and picked up alida who saw the situation and could only half-smile in simple shock. so we jammed packed ourselves with cats in the kennels, and drove off to the pet resort in south san francisco. after tearful good byes to the cats we finally got on the road, only to discover that we are sandwiched between two bumpers for at least an hour moving inch by inch. as you can imagine, we couldn't cover as many miles as we planned that day, so we found us a room at a motel...... wait, a suite at a hotel in bakersfield because that was the cheapest thing available (and no joke). the young dude at the front desk who checked us in was an airhead. but we enjoyed the stay anyway. no fun without a good night of sleep.

DAY 2:
we had to cover A LOT of miles that day. so we set off early and drove to death valley where we found nothing but HEAT. it was 115F when we first arrived. i'm sure if i cracked an egg on our car, it would have cooked a perfectly fine fried egg. when we entered the park, we each received a postcard that said "heat kills" with a picture of a skeleton in the desert with an empty bottle, with some informative messages about how to keep hydrated, etc. we found the card incredible, and decided to send one to alida's parents who had been (and probably were) worried about this trip in general. the land scape in death valley was deserty and well, the name death valley is rather perfect. there were no natural living soul except for may be some wilted desert vegitation and perhaps a scorpion that was hiding under the rock. the crows were panting (literally with their beaks spread open wide) in the brush shade at the lodge, and the sprinkler were spurting out hot water. the scenery was nothing you would see anywhere, and it tintilated the drive for deathly things, the ultimate and most deep rooted human nature. it was beautiful in a whole new genre. awestricken, we continued on our driving (besides, we could not stay in that heat any longer) headed to our next stop, grand canyon. the drive out of the desert was long, peaceful, and sleepy. with sleeping alida on my side, caitlin and i became tense that we were lost because the road never ended, because we passed no other cars, because we were alone in the desert with death as its name, because we felt the power of nature's deepest secret, the truth of one's inevitable, the loneliness of its process and the life itself.

after couple of hours, we reached a highway that led us to the sparkling civilization - the rotten capitalism coated with leisure called las vegas. alida took some great pictures (inspired by her photography instructor she had in mexico) while we had some good laughs looking at ridiculous adds for strip clubs and shows. after a pit stop at a seven-eleven (which we could not find forever) we left vegas and made our way towards grand canyon through colorful desert sunset. we decided to pitch our tent at a roadside campground that was slightly sketchy, but good enough, dreaming about the beauty that awaits us.


DAY 3:
another beautiful day, sunny with some clouds and hot. we made pretty good miles the day before, so we reached grand canyon by the early afternoon. in the meantime, we tried to figure out whether the news we received from alida's father about a fire in grand canyon was true. he also thought the park was closed because of the fire, and thus for obvious reasons we were hasty to find out what the real deal was. despite our effort of calling all sorts of national park numbers, we reached the park, and we were relieved to find a long line of cars waiting at the entrance, hoping to spend the independence day weekend in the heart of american geological treasure. i felt a small sense of shame, a self-agony of one kind, in contributing this ironic act of humans, driving air-polluting machine into a national park.... regardless, my excitement for being at the grand canyon won over my resentment and entered the park singing and dancing in my seat. it made the other girls laugh and it felt great. we decided to get to the campground first, since at the entrance we found out that there was in fact a forest fire on the north rim side (which is known to be prettier and i wanted to camp on that side) and that it was closed to the public. after pitching our tent, we went on a short hike down towards the canyon although we were told to be careful of heat stroke because it was excruciatingly HOT. apparently people die hiking down or up the canyon in that kind of weather. so we packed a backpack full of gatrade and water and decided to go as far as we feel comfortable, so that we won't get stuck somewhere dehydrated and sick from excessive sun and heat. the trail was beautiful, and how i wished to have been able to hike down to the river! but it was definitely unsafe to take on such expedition untrained in the middle of the day in july. so we went a couple of miles and turned around. along the way there were cacti and small desert birds, as well as tanned hunky workers putting boulders and logs to the edges of the trail. props to them. we were thoroughly impressed by their hard work. such amazing scenery and experience. sweat felt good and we were hungry. so we went back to the tent and spent a wonderful night at the park.

DAY 4:
we wanted to go see the sunrise, but obviously, we didn't get up in time so instead we ate quick breakfast and drove around the park to explore some more. i just could not get over the fact that this incredible crevice of the earth was created by the flow of the colorado, small yet stubborn and consistent force of water that flowed for millions of years. every time i see such work of art by the nature, i cannot help but to feel the pulsing energy of something higher than all of us, perhaps god, perhaps the mother earth itself, but something that connects all humans, something that makes us feel desolate and yet so blissful and content, something that remind us of the history, and the magic of the universe. with such sentimental emotions in our hearts, we decided we needed a shower. we hadn't taken shower since the hotel in bakersfield and we had been sweating everyday. well, unfortunately when we got to the shower house it was packed and there was no one in an office to change our bills to coins... since we had to make our ways up to utah, we bagged the idea of fresh water on our skin and got our stinkin' selves back into the car and drove our way to zion national park. along the way, we saw heart-breaking sights of native american settlements. broken huts, trailers and abandoned trucks. vendors on the sides of the road trying to make a living out of selling their crafts to ignorant tourists who know very little (if any) of their history and the mark colonization left on this country. once again, we were reminded of humans' imperfection and shortcomings as we stopped at one of the vendors. we bought some souvenirs to remind us of natives' suffering, pain and hope. as the earth turned color from fire-y orange-red to orange-grey, we reached zion national park, and oh my how beautiful it was. it was my first time being there and it completely lived up to my expectations. we also learned the story behind the name "zion" which turns out to come from "not zion," a phrase spoken by a mormon leader when his people first discovered the area and thought that this must be what zion looks like. but to him, it was "awfully beautiful, but not zion." we were able to get a nice spot in the camp ground right by the river, and we were finally able to swim in the fresh water (we had been wanting to do this since we set off on this trip). never mind swimming in the river - we were swimming in the river in zion, surrounded by boulders and cliffs that stand high in the heavens. this also happened to be my twenty-fifth birthday, and i could not have spend my birthday any other way. we played in the water for a really long time until the sun began to set and we began to feel a little chilly. after we got out of the water and made dinner, we celebrated my birthday with carrot cake flavored odwalla bar. i was thankful to this amazing trip and the love i received from alida and caitlin, and wished the same kind of love and peace to the rest of the world as i blew my match (which was used in a place of a candle).


DAY 5:
it was a little bit cloudy and little bit cooler - a perfect day for a hike. we packed up our tent and left our river behind to go on a hike to the emerald pool. in order to prevent pollution, you have to take the electric shuttle to the trailhead, so we caught the shuttle from the park headquarters. the trail began at the small wooden bridge that crossed the river, and went around the foot of the giant cliff. there were many gorgeous spots along the way, from small water falls to frogs to striated rocks, and it was just a fun little hike that was peaceful to the heart and soul. at the emerald pool, hundreds of small birds flew left and right perhaps to catch a small bug or a fish residing in the pool. everything was calm and the little rain drops that began to fall added rather perfect flavor to the whole experience.

after grabbing a hot meal at the park headquarters, we got on the road to make our way to orem where our friend darci lives. i also had plans to meet up with lindsay whom i had not seen since the college graduation, so i called her and arranged a final plan to meet up at darci's house. most of the drive from zion was straightforward, a long highway that drove through small cities and towns, a typical american scenery. we got to darci's house - well, her sister's house to be exact - with a view of beautiful utah mountain range before the sunset, and lindsay arrived soon after we got washed up and rested. at night, we headed out to say hello to darci's giant mormon family who were very welcoming and offered us homemade ice cream. the kids were cute and the adults told us fun stories about darci's childhood. nightmares it may be for darci, i enjoyed the warmth of a large family, an atmosphere of celebratory occasion (the independence day) bound by love of the kinship. we then left orem to go to sundance, to a bar where a famous western film was made. we were hoping there would be food, but unfortunately they didn't have any that night, so we just drank our stomach full and chatted with darci's bro, his girlfriend, darci's ex-girlfriend, and caught up with my dear friend lindsay whom i had missed so much. the rest of the night is a little bit fuzzy in my memory, perhaps from the beer on empty stomach, but we got a drive-thru burritos on the way back to orem, yucky in idea now i think about it, but tasty in actuality (as much as i remember), and went to sleep.... well, some of us did, and some of us flirted and watched tv all night long....

to be continued.....